Baby Showers Bring...Who Knows What

At some point in the average American woman's pregnancy, people begin to ask about a baby shower for the child waiting to be born.  There are many reasons they ask:

1. They want to plan a party for you.
2. They want to know how much money you expect them to spend on a child they will probably rarely ever see.
3. They don't know what else to ask an obviously pregnant woman.
4. They want to try to find something else to be doing that day so that, if and when they are invited, they can bow out of any obligation of attending.
5. They want to tell you about their own baby shower experiences, so the question is really just a lead-in.
6. They want to tell you how to handle things for a baby shower.
7. And finally, they might just want to be sure you intend to invite them should you have a baby shower.

The funny thing about baby showers is the wide variety of reactions people have toward them.  I have known people to make some truly amazing faces at the mere suggestion they attend such a party--and not just men, either.  

Part of the problem stems from parties these people have attended in the past which have permanently scarred them or at least negatively colored their views on prenatal celebrations.  Typically resulting from parties planned by a friend or family member, unsuspecting attendees have been forced to participate in all sorts of "undignified" antics.  These include diapering a stuffed animal while blindfolded, drinking games with baby bottles, and fumblingly guessing at the circumference of the mom-to-be's belly.  (The latter was actually played at one of my 2 baby showers for Jackson; I guessed the closest!)  While some truly enjoy these frivolities, many others are made to feel horribly uncomfortable by them and begin to hide from baby shower invites (see #4 above).

Some make a face less of disgust and more of excitement.  They may even scream and jump erratically.  (n.b. These are typically NOT men.)  These are often the same people who enjoy planning games like Pin the Diaper on the Teddy Bear and making Diaper Cakes.

Andrew and I canvassed all these issues while determining our strategy for baby planning.  We are both very much control-freaks, and we wanted anyone who attended to be under as little stress as possible.  The main problems we faced were that our friends and family almost exclusively lived at least 2 hour's drive away (and in two distantly separated locations) and that we needed to know how much of our own funds we would need to budget for whatever other people did not want to buy for us.

Eventually we devised a plan to have 3 (later downsized to 2) baby showers.  One was being hosted by Andrew's parents in Tallahassee, and the other by my sister in Tarpon Springs.  A third we had considered hosting somewhere here in Gainesville, but in our frustration and exhaustion we scrapped the idea.  Being the sort who like to have a hold of the reins of any project involving our time, Andrew and I felt exasperated by the efforts being made for us.

In an effort to save us money, my sister had hoped to host the party over Thanksgiving holidays to help minimize our number of trips to town (and thus hotel and dining costs).  This would have been just 3 weeks before my due date, however, and far too close for our comfort, therefore.  Our goal was to have Jackson's nursery completely prepared by then so that, should he be a sweetheart and arrive early, we would have all the tools we would need to appease him.  Eventually we convinced her that earlier was better than later, and the final decision was made to have both showers in October, 2 weeks apart.

The Tallahassee one came first and was a great success.  My mother-in-law cooked a vast (and I do mean vast!) spread of yummy foods, and we spent the day enjoying an open house of visitors.  The initial plan was for guests to arrive between 1pm and 5pm, but the result was a party that lasted 8 hours until we had to usher people out the door.  Still, we had a very intimate visit with each group of attendees in a pleasant and relaxed atmosphere. 

Our subsequent shower in Tarpon Springs was, perhaps, overly ambitious.  A wide variety of my friends and acquaintances were invited to a Greek lunch cafe, none of whom had received any sort of written invitation.  (My sister had some sort of conflict with the post office that I never fully interpreted.)  Vanessa had planned a number of guessing games that entertained people, while some very awkward family/friend combinations occurred due to the cramped quarters of the back room we inhabited.  Overall, the party was still a great success--in more than one way!  As a consequence of meeting at Jackson's baby shower, my friends Chirag and Juliet met one another, and 9 months later they were married!  (No children between them; they both began graduate school a month after tying the knot.)

On discussion during the process and afterward, Andrew and I felt that if ever we were to have another baby shower, we would plan it ourselves.  Having some greater hindsight and recalling how busy we were at the time, I think the main consideration is really just that the person planning the shower needs to understand and accept what is important to YOU in regard to any prenatal partying.  For example, next time we send invitations and/or Thank You cards, we're using the US Post Office's website.  And if we ever have another baby shower with single people, we'll hand out condoms for the after party.

Nice to meet you!

With my health insurance firmly established, I gladly began regular prenatal visits to a local midwifery group.  They are a WONDERFUL bunch of women!  The experience was far more relaxing than going to an ordinary OB/GYN and much more comfortable an atmosphere.  Finally the time came when they wanted to schedule me for an ultrasound.

On August 13, 2007, Andrew and I got to see our little guy for the second time--and learned that he had a dangler between his legs.  My midwife had suspected as much, based on his heart rate, but the little tripod images we saw onscreen confirmed things:  we were having a boy!

We were really excited and pleased to be told that all his parts were in the right places and developing properly.  By that point I was 21 weeks pregnant, and Kippy (Jackson's in utero name) was 3 weeks large for his gestation.

The tricky part was that Andrew and I had found names challenging for us when it came to boy names.  Girl names were easy enough, and we had 2 selected with coordinating middle names.  Kippy's male designation forced us to work very hard at finding a suitable name for our little alien invader.

We had begun calling him Kippy from the start as I learned of my pregnant status shortly after a unique encounter with a local vagrant of sorts.  Known around my home town of Palm Harbor as "the Can Man," this ragged bicyclist would travel around collecting aluminum cans in his bike basket, presumably to generate money for his beer fund.  Only a few hours before I tested positive for having an inner child, I had worked up sufficient nerve to ask the Can Man's name.  He very shyly had responded, half-hiding behind his long blond mane and ball cap, that his name was Kippy.  So, Andrew and I decided the name was appropriate until we knew what we would really call our future munchkin.  After all, the original Kippy was an avid recycler (like me) and was silently trying to help the world around him by ensuring aluminum was not wastefully discarded.  Riding a bicycle around town (though probably a DUI-cycle in reality) was both giving him regular exercise and saving on carbon emissions that a motorized vehicle would have produced.  What better role model could our child have?

So after we saw his dangler, Andrew and I worked long and hard to choose a name that would fit our offspring.  He had to have a solid, strong name, since he had no chance of being tiny.  Eventually we discussed the idea of naming him John and calling him Jack.  There were a few problems with this, though.  One, his middle name was certainly going to be Edward, and our last name is Adams.  John Edwards was running for democractic candidacy for the office of president, and John Adams was already the name of two past presidents.  We did not want to overstate his possible future attainments before he was even born.  Secondly, the name was too bland, too generic.  He would not be "google-able".  The final problem was that Jack was already a nickname of mine.

When I was born, my sister was only 18months old, so she could not say Jessica.  Her initial attempt, Jecca, morphed over time until Jacka and finally Jack became a name to which I would willingly respond.  This would not be so troubling except that my niece and nephew only have two aunts, both named Jessica (it was SUCH a popular name!), so to differentiate between us, they have always known me as Auntie Jack.

Tossing ideas around some more, we settled on Jackson Edward Adams.  This did not eradicate the excessive presidentiality of his name, but it didn't have to do so.  My darling husband, Andrew, shares a birthday with former president Andrew Jackson, for whom he was named.  Jackson is my son, therefore the son of "Jack".  The name seemed fitting and was suitably strong and was not a particularly popular name--or so we thought.

As it turns out, Jackson had been rapidly gaining in popularity as a first name, placing as the #36 name for boys in 2006 and #33 in 2007.

Surprisingly, we've also frequently received the response, "That's a good, Southern name" quite often.  Who knew?  Though it appears to be a fairly common mid-western name as well.

Back to the ultrasound.  Andrew and I are geeks.  I don't mean we go about biting the heads off birds.  We just are willing to recognize that there are some things we obsess over that others don't (like finance and budgeting).  Within 5 hours of having the goop spread over my belly and watching Jackson suck his thumb in utero, we had ripped the DVD of the sonogram into an Internet-ready video file, added some Dido music, burnt some CDs, uploaded the show to Veoh, and emailed the link to everyone who might care enough to open an email from us.

Experience the thrill for yourself!  

(The text that appears onscreen says "Boy!!!" and the arrow points to the indicator.)