Baby Showers Bring...Who Knows What

At some point in the average American woman's pregnancy, people begin to ask about a baby shower for the child waiting to be born.  There are many reasons they ask:

1. They want to plan a party for you.
2. They want to know how much money you expect them to spend on a child they will probably rarely ever see.
3. They don't know what else to ask an obviously pregnant woman.
4. They want to try to find something else to be doing that day so that, if and when they are invited, they can bow out of any obligation of attending.
5. They want to tell you about their own baby shower experiences, so the question is really just a lead-in.
6. They want to tell you how to handle things for a baby shower.
7. And finally, they might just want to be sure you intend to invite them should you have a baby shower.

The funny thing about baby showers is the wide variety of reactions people have toward them.  I have known people to make some truly amazing faces at the mere suggestion they attend such a party--and not just men, either.  

Part of the problem stems from parties these people have attended in the past which have permanently scarred them or at least negatively colored their views on prenatal celebrations.  Typically resulting from parties planned by a friend or family member, unsuspecting attendees have been forced to participate in all sorts of "undignified" antics.  These include diapering a stuffed animal while blindfolded, drinking games with baby bottles, and fumblingly guessing at the circumference of the mom-to-be's belly.  (The latter was actually played at one of my 2 baby showers for Jackson; I guessed the closest!)  While some truly enjoy these frivolities, many others are made to feel horribly uncomfortable by them and begin to hide from baby shower invites (see #4 above).

Some make a face less of disgust and more of excitement.  They may even scream and jump erratically.  (n.b. These are typically NOT men.)  These are often the same people who enjoy planning games like Pin the Diaper on the Teddy Bear and making Diaper Cakes.

Andrew and I canvassed all these issues while determining our strategy for baby planning.  We are both very much control-freaks, and we wanted anyone who attended to be under as little stress as possible.  The main problems we faced were that our friends and family almost exclusively lived at least 2 hour's drive away (and in two distantly separated locations) and that we needed to know how much of our own funds we would need to budget for whatever other people did not want to buy for us.

Eventually we devised a plan to have 3 (later downsized to 2) baby showers.  One was being hosted by Andrew's parents in Tallahassee, and the other by my sister in Tarpon Springs.  A third we had considered hosting somewhere here in Gainesville, but in our frustration and exhaustion we scrapped the idea.  Being the sort who like to have a hold of the reins of any project involving our time, Andrew and I felt exasperated by the efforts being made for us.

In an effort to save us money, my sister had hoped to host the party over Thanksgiving holidays to help minimize our number of trips to town (and thus hotel and dining costs).  This would have been just 3 weeks before my due date, however, and far too close for our comfort, therefore.  Our goal was to have Jackson's nursery completely prepared by then so that, should he be a sweetheart and arrive early, we would have all the tools we would need to appease him.  Eventually we convinced her that earlier was better than later, and the final decision was made to have both showers in October, 2 weeks apart.

The Tallahassee one came first and was a great success.  My mother-in-law cooked a vast (and I do mean vast!) spread of yummy foods, and we spent the day enjoying an open house of visitors.  The initial plan was for guests to arrive between 1pm and 5pm, but the result was a party that lasted 8 hours until we had to usher people out the door.  Still, we had a very intimate visit with each group of attendees in a pleasant and relaxed atmosphere. 

Our subsequent shower in Tarpon Springs was, perhaps, overly ambitious.  A wide variety of my friends and acquaintances were invited to a Greek lunch cafe, none of whom had received any sort of written invitation.  (My sister had some sort of conflict with the post office that I never fully interpreted.)  Vanessa had planned a number of guessing games that entertained people, while some very awkward family/friend combinations occurred due to the cramped quarters of the back room we inhabited.  Overall, the party was still a great success--in more than one way!  As a consequence of meeting at Jackson's baby shower, my friends Chirag and Juliet met one another, and 9 months later they were married!  (No children between them; they both began graduate school a month after tying the knot.)

On discussion during the process and afterward, Andrew and I felt that if ever we were to have another baby shower, we would plan it ourselves.  Having some greater hindsight and recalling how busy we were at the time, I think the main consideration is really just that the person planning the shower needs to understand and accept what is important to YOU in regard to any prenatal partying.  For example, next time we send invitations and/or Thank You cards, we're using the US Post Office's website.  And if we ever have another baby shower with single people, we'll hand out condoms for the after party.