Books for Babies & Toddlers: Mommy is Going Away...And Coming Back!

Below is one of the books that I made for my son Jackson. This one was designed to help him understand (as best as a 23 month old can) that Mommy was going to be going to Boston for a few days without him. Since I stay home with him, I was concerned that he was going to have some serious difficulty with this. Rather than just worry, I created this story to try to demonstrate the flow of things for him. Hopefully the images will be readable when I post it, but because blogger has a really awful preview mode, I'll transcribe in text what each page says.

Book Title: "Mommy is going away...and coming back!"

This is my family. [I used the first person, so that it would be as though it were Jackson telling the story. This was a little awkward, as it turned out, when we were reading it to him.]

This is my Mommy. She is going away for while. [I don't wear skirts all that often, but I did such a mediocre job conveying myself in the photo, I guess I tried to make up for it by adding some feminine apparel.]

She is going to ride an airplane. [This was one of Jackson's 2 favorite pages. I was really glad that the windows were there because until I added them, the airplane looked very much like a shark with a misplaced dorsal fin.]

While Mommy is gone, I get lots more play time with Daddy! [I think I overstretched my drawing bone here, but at least it's identifiable what's going on in the image...I hope. It was at this stage in my trip that Jackson apparently got confused and when the real time came for me to fly out of town, he completely forgot about this and the next page.]

I'll sleep for naps and bedtimes for a few days. [Apparently this page was so poorly drawn that it never really was attended by Jackson in the process of reading the book. He was always so anxious to get to the next airplane page.]

Then Mommy will come home on an airplane again. [After my plane took off, Jackson and my husband Andrew were going to go home in the car. Jackson apparently was confused and upset when my plane didn't fly right back again with me in it.]

Daddy and I will give her Big Hugs! [Jackson loves big hugs, especially family hugs where we sandwich him between us and pretend to squish him. It's rare that Andrew and I can get a hug with just the two of us while Jackson is awake and we are in view of him.]

Mommy is very happy to be home again. [I really wanted to put a lot of emphasis on the notion that, while I was going away, I was most going to enjoy getting to come home again. I preferred to keep the story upbeat in the hopes that Jackson would allow himself to feel more upbeat, with his emotions upon my return informed by the dialog in the story. This seemed to work.]
I am very happy that Mommy is home again, too! [It couldn't hurt to hope that he would internalize this rather than holding a grudge against me for going away for 4 days. This was a realistic possibility, too, considering how much time it took for Jackson to get over all of the traveling, overtime, and schoolwork away from home Andrew had been doing in recent months.]

Hooray! [I apparently got really tired by the end of writing this story. Besides, it's fun ending a book with a big Hooray!]

[The End.]

Overall, I would say that this book was a great help in getting Jackson to have some concept of what was going on when I left town. We were careful to send communications between Andrew and me via text messages and email so that I did not call and disturb the calm he was trying to maintain with Jackson. Remembering that children experience time as event-based rather than duration-based, I figured that Jackson would handle it better with little or no communication from me. The third night I was gone he broke down crying and wanted me home. He was so distraught on the phone after making Daddy call me that I could hardly make out what he was saying. I caught some concerned words about his toy school bus (his constant companion since it had been bought a few weeks prior, which even enjoyed a special place in his arms at bedtimes). The bawling and shrieking into the phone abruptly ended, and I got to hear all about "My school bus!"

Despite knowing there was a blizzard (Blizzard 2009) heading straight for us and that we had fought all day to get my ticket moved up as early as possible to avoid "stranding me" in Boston, I still found myself promising my crying toddler that I would see him in the morning. Luck was on my side, and I made it home to Florida the next morning, as promised. Jackson was indeed happy to see me and gave me big hugs.

What I did not expect, however, was that he was fairly nervous for a few days about both Andrew and myself being out of view. His concern had extended to being abandoned for long durations at any time by either parent. Unfortunately, while I was gone, Andrew was afraid to abide by the usual limitations I set on Jackson. He allowed (and perhaps even encouraged) Jackson to bring his blanky, Husky (stuffed dog that sleeps with him), and paci with him anywhere they went while I was gone, as well as his school bus. A week and a half later, we're still trying to get him back on the old system which had strict policies on what was allowed to go with us when leaving home. This was exacerbated by a trip to see my in-laws for several days shortly after I returned from Boston.

All in all, the book was a success. He had something tangible that told him how things were going to happen and our individual roles to play in the process. He had been assured that Mommy was going to be back and that she would give him a hug and be happy to be home when she returned. I expect to write many more of these over the next few years--and maybe when Jackson is older, he'll write some of his own!

This book was the second one I had made for him, and we had it bound for only a few dollars at a local print shop. Next time I'll see if I can disassemble and scan the potty training book I drew for him, which I had bound using a hole punch and some thin rope. No promises, but there WILL be another post in 2 weeks. (ish. Don't give me that look!)

Also, I'd just like to give a shout-out to my awesome little boy because today he turned 2 years old! Congratulations, Jackson! You're 2 fingers!