Useful Prenatal/Post Partum Literature (A Serious Post)

Living as we do in the so-called Age of Information, those with unfiltered access to the Internet no longer have any excuse not to know or be able to discover just about any piece of knowledge we desire.  There are some who take this to extreme and insist on knowing the ins and outs of the anatomy of every person willing to provide a visual demonstration.  Others prefer a more cloistered lifestyle, sequestered from carnal knowledge until marital vows are pronounced.  Still others are generously populating the Internet with all kinds of useful, useless, or incorrect information, so the seeker of wisdom may have to rely on his best judgment to determine what advice or principles to follow.

Good friends to those making a quest for details on pregnancy, labor and delivery, and child rearing are the well-matched pair of Google and Amazon.  I scarcely need inform my visitors of the existence of the magical realm Google has invented, infecting the world wide web with a notion of purifying websites and webtools down to their clearest and most efficient forms, and providing a search engine unparalleled by any guru or librarian in the history of the world.  Amazon long ago learned to be molded by the will of the people and has become a reference tool with a variety of measuring sticks on hand for evaluating as well as purchasing literature, among its many other traits.

Additionally, Andrew and I made use of our spare time during my pregnancy at local bookstores.  We felt then and maintain now, with our son currently 14 months old, that for us to be successful parents and maintain positive relations with one another, we needed not only to comprehend the imminent future but to have some glimpse of further horizons.

For a relationship to survive the strains of the first year with a child, both partners must be committed.  As much as possible, they need to agree in advance as to how to handle given situations that might arise.  They need a plan:  Who will care for the child?  Breastfeed or bottle feed?  Who will handle night wakings?  How will chores be divided in the new regime?  What sort of allowances will be deemed acceptable?  What behaviors are deal breakers?

Yet in order to know what things to discuss and attempt to resolve as best as possible in advance, it helps to have a guide (or several) indicating what issues you are most likely to encounter.  This is where the Age of Information becomes your friend.  Andrew and I were fortunate in that the literature we selected to aid us in our pre-parenting and early parenting processes were all very helpful in their own regards:

• What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff is the more modern equivalent of Dr. Spock a generation or so back.  One of the greatest aspects of this book is that it is frequently updated to include newer information and insights into the experience of pregnancy.  A wealth of knowledge pervades the text, derived from reputable sources and even including an acknowledgement that pregnant women are not always occupying the status of married or even necessarily heterosexual.
  

• Great Expectations by Sandy & Marcie Jones provide a weekly update on what experiences to expect throughout pregnancy.  Each week is numbered in several ways including fetal age and number of days remaining until your due date.  Each also indicates the size of your baby, the stage of development achieved, what is happening to you as the mother, and some basic tips for the general time period.  The book is very clearly arrayed with lots of graphics that include periodic glimpses at the changing shape of the mother's belly and the growing and changing shape of the uterus and its bundle of joy.  Great Expectations also shares a good deal of information and planning help for the birthing side of things as well as that often ignored post partum period.
  

• The Modern Girl's Guide to Motherhood by Jane Buckingham is a much better guide than the cover leads one to believe.  She uses a lot of straight talk that is great for those who really want to know what to expect.  An excerpt:  

  I don't know if it's some unspoken mother's code, or if mommy veterans are simply trying to protect us delivery virgins from the inevitable, but for some reason, no one--and none of the books for that matter--told me how downright painful recovery is. ... Everyone tells you about labor.  Somehow they forget about recovery.

  The bulk of the material, though, is best directed toward offering suggestions for how and when to do things.  The timelines for what to expect with your child were GREAT.  I still use this book to help keep track of what vaccines Jackson will be getting and for what milestones he should be expected to achieve at each stage.
  

• Be Prepared, A Practical Handbook for New Dads by Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden is an excellent primer for parenthood--and it's hilarious!  The drawings are wonderful and the diction is well directed at the male brain.  This book has some great and innovative ideas for those "Now what?" moments.  One section provides a breakdown of the distinctions in infant cries for hunger, fatigue, colic, etc. while another gives useful suggestions for remaining upright at work.  For each age bracket of infancy, the text offers ways to entertain a child that cost little or no money, as well as ways to use your child as a source of (deliberate) exercise.

These are just a few of the resources you can use to help prepare for a wee one.  But if you lack the funds to buy anything but the barest of essentials, consider that most of the information provided in any book is derived from publications by the American Academy of Pediatrics.  The AAP is considered the authority by most Western pediatricians and prints a large number of books for helping parents do their job.  Many places offer their books for free.  The most common publication of use is Your Baby's First Year (available for purchase here).  If you live in the southern United States, you can apply for the Publix baby club, which is free through the grocery store chain.  Publix will then send you an expanded version of this book, entitled Caring for Your Baby and Young Child for free (USD$20 value), in addition to a bunch of great coupons and a wonderful regular newsletter with tips for your child's current age group.  This expanded volume contains helpful information from the AAP for children through age 5 years.

In the end, you as the parent are the one who has to make all of the decisions.  Being informed can help you make better decisions:  To breastfeed or bottle feed?  Natural childbirth or epidural?  Co-sleep or crib sleep?

I hereby give you permission to make your own (informed) decisions, regardless of societal or familial pressures.  As a parent and caregiver you are in a position to know and understand your child's (and your own!) personality, preferences, and abilities better than anyone else.  Raising a child is tough enough, just trying to keep the little things alive and healthy despite their best attempts to the contrary.  If you can learn to trust your own instincts for what is best for your baby, then you are well ahead of the curve.